The Birthday Party
My niece’s sixth birthday was at the end of September. I was a little apprehensive about going to the party because a) my family would be there and b) I would see Bro #1 and didn’t know what his response would be to the letter I had written him.
The party was in a park and I got there a little early so I could help my sister set up. I saw that there was only soda to drink--no water. I told Sis I would go to the store and asked if she needed anything else. Yes, she needed a baby bottle. She had forgotten one for her youngest.
As I was leaving, the family began to arrive; Mom, her loser boyfriend, Bro #1 with his wife and son, aunts, cousins, and friends. I said hello to everyone and asked if anyone wanted anything from the store before leaving.
I was was not gone 20 minutes. When I drove back into the park Bro #1 was walking out. He seemed upset and I asked him if he needed a ride. He said, “No, I’m only going to Speedway.” I wish I would have told him to get in the car with me, but I didn’t. I should have taken that opportunity to talk to him, but I let it slip by.
When I returned to the group, I sat down next to my mother. She immediately told me that she had upset both Bro #1 and Sis by opening her big mouth. I said, "Mom, how many times have I told you, (mom and I in unison) 'never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut'"? “That’s what you’ll all say about me when I’m gone--that I could never keep my mouth shut,” she said.
When I moved home in 2002, I went to a huge Labor Day party and saw a lot people that I hadn’t seen in years. One of them was my college boyfriend. I hadn’t seen him since 1989, when I left him for another man--again. I had thought about him several times over the years and when I did, I thought of how awful I had been to him. I was young. I didn't know how to have a relationship, nor did I know how to end one. Seeing him had an impact on me. I didn't speak to him at the party. I didn’t know what to say.
The next day I visited my mother. I told her that I had seen him and how badly I still felt about the way I had handled things. A little while later, I left Mom’s and went to KG's house nearby.
I hadn't been there long when I got a call from Mom telling me that she had called my ex and he was on his way over to her house. I was furious with her and she was completely taken aback by my reaction. "I didn't expect you to react like this," she said. "How did you expect me to react"?, I spat back. My mother had orchestrated someone else's real-life drama right in her own living room and she couldn't wait to watch it play out. But, I was not going to let her have that satisfaction.
What the fuck was I going to do? Should I call Mom back and tell her to cancel her little party? Should I call him myself and apologize for my completely insane mother? Should I get in my car and run away? Should I ignore it all and begin the heavy drinking immediately? Should I see him? If I saw him, what the fuck was I going to say? Oh. My. God.
KG finally suggested that he meet me there, at her house. She said we could have the place to ourselves for a while.
He came over and we had a good talk. I apologized for treating him so badly and told him that my Karma had indeed come around. "That was a long time ago," he said graciously.
Within a month’s time he was engaged, and married for the first time the following year. I was glad I had the opportunity to apologize, but I was not happy with how it happened.
A day or so after the birthday party I was on the phone with my sister and learned what my mother had said to piss everyone off.
Sis is pregnant and her baby is due in January. Sis had not yet told her grandmother (my mom’s second-loser-husband’s mother) that she was pregnant. Mom had been dying to tell Grandma, but Sis had asked her, please, just don’t. About an hour before the party Mom and Sis were on the phone and Mom brought the subject up again.
“I’m gonna tell your Grandma that you’re pregnant if you don’t.”
“Mom, please don’t. Grandma is spending the night with me tomorrow night and I will tell her then, in private. Please don’t say anything to her. I will tell her tomorrow night.”
Guess who told Grandma that she has a new great-grandbaby on the way.
The party was in a park and I got there a little early so I could help my sister set up. I saw that there was only soda to drink--no water. I told Sis I would go to the store and asked if she needed anything else. Yes, she needed a baby bottle. She had forgotten one for her youngest.
As I was leaving, the family began to arrive; Mom, her loser boyfriend, Bro #1 with his wife and son, aunts, cousins, and friends. I said hello to everyone and asked if anyone wanted anything from the store before leaving.
I was was not gone 20 minutes. When I drove back into the park Bro #1 was walking out. He seemed upset and I asked him if he needed a ride. He said, “No, I’m only going to Speedway.” I wish I would have told him to get in the car with me, but I didn’t. I should have taken that opportunity to talk to him, but I let it slip by.
When I returned to the group, I sat down next to my mother. She immediately told me that she had upset both Bro #1 and Sis by opening her big mouth. I said, "Mom, how many times have I told you, (mom and I in unison) 'never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut'"? “That’s what you’ll all say about me when I’m gone--that I could never keep my mouth shut,” she said.
When I moved home in 2002, I went to a huge Labor Day party and saw a lot people that I hadn’t seen in years. One of them was my college boyfriend. I hadn’t seen him since 1989, when I left him for another man--again. I had thought about him several times over the years and when I did, I thought of how awful I had been to him. I was young. I didn't know how to have a relationship, nor did I know how to end one. Seeing him had an impact on me. I didn't speak to him at the party. I didn’t know what to say.
The next day I visited my mother. I told her that I had seen him and how badly I still felt about the way I had handled things. A little while later, I left Mom’s and went to KG's house nearby.
I hadn't been there long when I got a call from Mom telling me that she had called my ex and he was on his way over to her house. I was furious with her and she was completely taken aback by my reaction. "I didn't expect you to react like this," she said. "How did you expect me to react"?, I spat back. My mother had orchestrated someone else's real-life drama right in her own living room and she couldn't wait to watch it play out. But, I was not going to let her have that satisfaction.
What the fuck was I going to do? Should I call Mom back and tell her to cancel her little party? Should I call him myself and apologize for my completely insane mother? Should I get in my car and run away? Should I ignore it all and begin the heavy drinking immediately? Should I see him? If I saw him, what the fuck was I going to say? Oh. My. God.
KG finally suggested that he meet me there, at her house. She said we could have the place to ourselves for a while.
He came over and we had a good talk. I apologized for treating him so badly and told him that my Karma had indeed come around. "That was a long time ago," he said graciously.
Within a month’s time he was engaged, and married for the first time the following year. I was glad I had the opportunity to apologize, but I was not happy with how it happened.
A day or so after the birthday party I was on the phone with my sister and learned what my mother had said to piss everyone off.
Sis is pregnant and her baby is due in January. Sis had not yet told her grandmother (my mom’s second-loser-husband’s mother) that she was pregnant. Mom had been dying to tell Grandma, but Sis had asked her, please, just don’t. About an hour before the party Mom and Sis were on the phone and Mom brought the subject up again.
“I’m gonna tell your Grandma that you’re pregnant if you don’t.”
“Mom, please don’t. Grandma is spending the night with me tomorrow night and I will tell her then, in private. Please don’t say anything to her. I will tell her tomorrow night.”
Guess who told Grandma that she has a new great-grandbaby on the way.
posted by nottotaled at 4:36 PM
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