TGIEF

That means Thank God it's the End of February. Because DD and I hate February with a vengence. No, really. We do. So, if you're reading this, Happy March To You. Erin Go Braugh, and all that Irish shit. (Which reminds me of another Irish story. Do they ever end?)

Anyhoo,

I thought of DD today and I toasted her with my Vitamin V. Just like every other day my heart aches for my dead best friend. I’m sure she would be proud that I was weeping into a glass of good vodka.

I think of her every day. But today, I thought of her because we would have had a fine celebration had she been alive. We would be celebrating the last day of February.

DD hated February. It was the worst month of the year.

She had more reasons to hate February than I’d want to know, and she turned me just the same. At least you were in the Midwest, she’d say; try it in Baltimore year after year, after the Yankees had beaten the Orioles, again.

It’s still February, no matter where you are.

DD, February has gotten much better since global warming. If you can PPV movies in Heaven, I highly recommend An Inconvenient Truth. It won the Oscar, which I know you love--the Oscars and everything, being a Californian and all; even if we are NORTHERN Californians (and, yes, we are better). And, I also know that you know that Al Gore won the Presidency in, what exactly was the year we got fucked? I know you know it. Are you still watching?

I still love and miss you no matter what.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Long Weekend

So much has been going on at work and I'm so, so busy. I want to weep. And drink.

But I'm getting out of town for a few days. A friend and I are going to sunny Florida. Woo hoo!! I loathe getting ready to travel, but I can't wait to be there.

Memorandum to Mr. Rogers

I’m so happy to have found myself in your neighborhood. You are a delight.

As I was dying my very gray hair this evening, I ruminated on our file conversation of this morning and I have to ask you to keep an open mind, or consider doing your own filing.

I ask you to remember your telling me, “The typed pages go on the left, and the handwritten pages and things like that go on the right. I don’t know why it’s that way, but it is, and after 20 years . . .”

Mr. Rogers, of the good neighborhood, I have indeed discovered “why it’s that way.”

As I was culling Mr. S's files of, well, 75 years, I found files circa 1947, and they DID NOT AFFORD CLASPS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE FILE. Hence, just as I suspected, we’ve been doing it that way since 1885 and, by gum, that’s the way we do it.

So, in answer to your question of “I don’t know why it’s that way, but it just is,” my answer is simply: File technology has much advanced in the past 122 years and the very wrong filing situation of the Grand Law Firm should be reconsidered by your fine legal mind.

In my defense:

When you open a book, do you turn it upside down and open the back cover, as to read it from end to beginning?

When you go to your file cabinet, do you enjoy having to push all the files from the front to the back, because the left-sided filing has fallen forward, in order to read the label on the file?

Well, do you?

I know you are the Boss, and you have a very important J.D. from Emory University, and you are esteemed with “Order of the Coif” and you are a Partner. But I, too, graduated from Miami University, and that is where I learned to file Very Important Documents.

Please let me know if you simply cannot live with the correct way of filing.

Thank you for your consideration.

Your faithful secretary,
Miss F